


What car does Dean drive?

by EdgarAllenPosies



Category: Supernatural
Genre: This is my attempt at comedy please don't yell at me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-07
Updated: 2017-03-30
Packaged: 2018-03-06 11:11:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3132347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EdgarAllenPosies/pseuds/EdgarAllenPosies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is for anyone who mentions what car Dean drives constantly in fics, it's vaguely funny and super short like 2 minutes go for it.</p><p>no longer 2 mins now has 5 chapters oops</p><p>7 chapters ft. me dragging the show because idgaf</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A 1967 chevy impala woah

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chevy 1967 impala (EDIT: the first chapter is boring but it is the start so)

Dean got into his 1967 chevy impala, rolling down the windows in his 1967 chevy impala, he placed his hands on the steering wheel of his 1967. chevy. impala

He drove to the bunker in his 1967 Chevy Impala, when he got there he texted Sammy, while he was inside of his 1967 chEVY IMPALA

Text to Sammy: Get your butt out here, I'm outside in my American made 1967 chevy impala, the 1967 chevy impala dad left me, it's a 1967 chevy impala by the way

Dean waited outside the bunker for Sam in his 1967 chevy impala, he slowly felt his 1967 chevy impala coming to life around him, and then his 1967 chevy impala bashed him over the head repeatedly, did I mention it's a 1967 chevy impala?


	2. Fun fact: it's a 1967 chevy impala

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1967 chevy impala gets revenge

"wtf the fuck" said Deany Weeny Winchester to his 1967 chevy impala, "Why'd you freakin' hit me?" 

Dean looked up at his 1967 chevy impala, which was now a transformer

"beep beep" said Dean's 1967 chevy impala, then Dean's 1967 chevy impala remembered transformers can speak English 

Dean's 1967. chevy. impalalalala. Looked down at dean with Its glowing headlight eyes (AN: it has headlights for eyes cause it's a 1967 chevy impala, which has headlights) 

"dude bro guy man....do you know how much shit you have put me through? " asked the 1967 chevy IMPALA

Dean stared at his 1967 chevy impala in confusion, his BEAUTIFUL APPLE GREEN EYES CRINKLING IN THE AFTERNOON SUN LIGHT GOOD LORD

SUDDENLY Sammy came outside the bunker and was like '??!??!?!!?!??' he used his glorious mane of hair to tie up the 1967 chevy impala, and because of the magic of sams hair the 1967 chevy impala was suddenly a car again, the particular car in question being a 1967 chevy impala

Then Cas popped up out nowhere, startling Dean and was all 'lol wtf' and then Dean and him had sex on top of the 1967 chevy impala probably, also Sam and Charlie exchanged money cause there was a bet or something idk that's kind fucked up don't bet on people's love lives

Oh yeah also there was this car I think it was a 1967 chevy impala

The 1967 chEVY impala had been defeated.....This time.....


	3. 1 9 6 7 chevy impala plots things and stuff i don't know what this is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't even watch this show anymore

Okay so.....there was this car, I think it was a honda? Lol jk you thought

It was!! A 1967 chevy impala. And it was so fuckin done guys, like, imagine the most done U have evr been and DOUBLe IT. That is how pissed the 1967 cheVY IMPAla was. 

It, the 1967 chevy impala that is, had been knocked around and covered up in dark places and all that kinda shit, the 1967 che\/y impala wanted REVENgE!¡¡¡! 

The person the 7691 yvehc alapmi wanted revenge on was THE ONE AND probably not only it could be a common name for all I know DEAN FREAKIN WINCHESTER (AN: his middle name is not actually 'FREAKIN' that is merely for EFFECT!!!!!!! %!) 

'winchester more like WHINEchester ha ha ha *continued evil laughter*' thought the 1967 CHAVY IMPCALA

but!!1!¡! The 1967 chevy impalas plans were ruined by NONE OTHER THAN SAMMY WAMMY WINCHESTER WoAah wtf

And to add further insult to injury for the 1967 chevy impala (named after the land mammel the impala) Deen winchestor and his bf casS (lol jk it's one s im not an animal, like the impala, which is an animal, and not like the 1967 chevy impala, which is a car, tho it is named after the animal the impala) had SEXx on the 1967 chevy impalas bonnet, how freakin r00d rite like what the h*ck¡

Also the car was a 1967 chevy impala I'm not sure if I've mentioned that. 

Getting to the point dearest readers of this fic (lol I typed 'fuc' by mistake there whoopsie daisy), the chevy impala (made in 1967) decided that to stop dean she needed to GEt through SAMMY DAMMY DOODLE DOO first because HiS haIR!?!!?!?!??! IT IS TOO POWERFUL AND LUSIOUS, getting rid of him first was the 1967 ch3vy 1mp@l@z only choice 

BUT THAT is for the next chapter ~~~~~  
....  
Stay tuned for moor 1967 chevy impala adventures r&r lolllll xoxo gossip girl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd say what my tumblr is but I don't want y'all sending me hate


	4. What car does dean drive? ur mums lol

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WOaH ChaPtEr YAs Also!!!!!!!!!!!!! chapter dedicated to my broooo ivy sup bab & my bro novah sup beb

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO my dearssssss welcome to the fourth installment of "What car does Dean drive?" :DDDDDDDDD  
!  
The Chevy imapala made in 1967 had gather info on how to stop smammay whinechester and his b e a tiful hair aT LAST!  
she (impala) had arranged to meet up with the most powerful of men, who would finally bring an end to all of this, A HAIRDreSseR *GASP* HOL Y FUCK

The 196667 CHevy imPala drove to the nearby city of *city name* and pulled up outside a shop called 'curl up and dye' (geddit cause they always die haaaaaaaaaaa ha) situated between two other hairdressers shops called 'sheerlock combs' and 'rock paper scissors'  
the imppppppala chuckled menacingly at these puns and drove throught the door of 'curl up and dye'

"what the fuckity" said hairdresser man

"it is i beep beep" sauiid the 1967 impala

"oh" said hairdresser man

and then they arranged a thing to happen (keep reading to find out whst #clickbait)

******************************lolzor******************************  
Sam Winchester was like ''yo dean"  
and deens was like "STFU get a haicut"  
So sam went to get a haircut woah plot twist (and shout i can dig elvis are you crying)

*****************aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa*****************

"hi i am sam winchester *hair swish hair swish" 

"oh" says hairdresser guy  
"i only want ONE jncH oFF NO MORE THAN THAT DO YTOU HEAR ME MOTHERFUCKERE" SAID sam

"oh'" says hairdresser guy, shaving sams head"/  
"fucK THE WHAT/" -sam 2k16

"oH" says hairdresser guy, counting the mney the 196 7 chevvvy impal had paid him  
" FUCJ YOU SAM" SAID THE IMPALA CRAHING THROUGH TH E WALL AGAIN THEN RUNNING OVR SAM

"oh" saisd hair man guy dude

"He Is Free Of His Hair Power I could Death HIm" said the MOTHER FUCK IMPALA 1967

And then te 1967 chevy impala drove away. plotting whart it could do to stop castiel oooooooo the end (of chapter)


	5. catch the pigeon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ? Ok

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> help

K so *chugs red bull* the 1967ch,vy impsla was part of the way into its planny plan plan;

the IMPALA which happened to be from 1967, knew that catching castielliot was next or She (impala, Chevy, 1967) would never succeed

Using her car power$(driving) sthe Chevy 1967.omaplalsls. went to a laundret and posed as a launderer.and the impala wws so gkkd at This she got like 1967 (like the year the 1967 cHevVVvVvvVvvvy impala (nlt the animal btw) bagsof clothes 

 

ANYHOO!!!!

 'castiel morw like ASStiel ha oh god im tired' thought the 1967 chevy llama

 she (omplala) waited, knowing it would not be long before casteol showed up

 *~*♡*~* SIX YEARE L8R YO*~*♡*~*

 the 1967 imalaa cheffy scREaMed. All her customerz left cause dat waz awks 4 dem. .

 "whER IS HE" The imAvy said 

 ,;,just then casiello walked 

 'oh neat' she (the CHEVY 》)tought

 Castoil stared the impala for a long time, until things were weird, he pulled up a dirty trench coat

 "can you clean this" he asked in a voice so monotone it shook the laundryeytte 

 "....yes ofc i am laundry beep beep" said the Chevy impalaA from 1967, while stabbing the coat

 Castiel instantly exploded !1!! 

'HA HA MY PLAN ID COMING ALON'"'G- thought the impacvyttwt9

She only had a few steps furtwr and it was cOmplete lolz 


	6. Just When You All Thought It Was Safe, I Wrote Another Chapter.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yeah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ,,,,,,,,,,,ok

1967 CHEVY IMPALA was really angry, about a lot of things, the current awfulness of her country being a big one'

'these fuckers ain't changed nothing since 1967' thought the impala, who happen to be from 1967 herself.  
After writing in her diary about her concerns in regards to the terrible terrible new president and the disgusting people who supported him, the 1967 chevy umpa lumpa got to work.

deaNy was next, she had already gotten rid of their feathered friend,,,,,,,  
'CastiDORK' she said aloud, making everyone else waiting at the bus station very confused, more confused than they had previously been in regards to a 1967 CHevy Impala (from 1967 i guess) waiting for a bus.

Th e impala shook (SHE wAS SHOOK!!!!) with pure rage, she thought that getting rid of the brother (not from 1967) and the angel (definitely not from 1967) was going to be more difficult, but it was actually really easy to get rid of them, legit they just, ,,there they go......

ANYWYA LaDS  
the impala (who was from 1967, like any respectable person or implala shpuld be, or thats what she (the 1967 chevy impala) thought anyway) (where was i in this sentence) she was on her way to the bunker (do they even still live there idfk i don't watch this show anymore)

~*DEANS POV*~

'God freAkin DammIT' dean said aloud as he repeatedly punched a lamp, with no regard for the lamps feelings.

Deaney the Ridiculous Man had been trying to solve the case. he was trying to stop a dick eating demon or something.  
Of course this case is completely unrelated to the current situation thats really troubling his life at this current moment, but he's decided to ignore that for right now for some reason.

The problem of course being that his brother and his ''''''frienwed' cas were missing????????????????????????? where they

Dean suddenly realised how to catch th demon, congrats dan.

~*1967 CHEVY IMPALA'S POV*~

When the 1967 chevy imapal had finally shown up at the bunker and driven directly through the wall, dean wasn't there oooooo

"whAT TH E DFUCK" said the ipa,le , and sat down to wait for dean whinechester to return

'he's probably out killing off one of the very few and poorly written women on this show, i'm the only 'she' on this show that continues to survive' she thought, completely dragging the shows writers who continue to put no effort into anything but anyways

She parked at that really long table in the bunker, you know the one, and w a it e d

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this ended up like a longer thing so i'm writing two chapters i guess


	7. yo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lmao yeah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the ending disappeared because ao3 knows this entire fic idea shouldn't have been created (i fixed it tho so this entire message is pointless)

~*DEANS POV*~

After dean had dealt with the dick eating demon or whatever i called it, and had made several jokes about the demon being gay that were no-homo as all hell Wow  
anyways deaaaaaaan was on his way back to the bunker, he picked up fast food on the way back also, dude shouldn't be in shape since that's all he eats but ok

when he arrived there was a massive hole in the side of the bunker, dean pulled a face that made him looking very serious and also clenched his jaw probbaly, he pulled out his gun as the light perfectly hit his apple green eyesees, and slowly edged forward

""that's a weirdly 1967 chevy impala shaped hole, wonder who's in there?" dean said, and zoomed inside

~* 1 9 67 cHEVYy IMPalalalala PoV*~

"MOTHERFUCKER" the impala screamed

"baby?" asked dean, what do you fucking think dean, it's parked on the table dean

"time for dying dean" the implala from 1967 and also was a cevy said as in revved it's engine and drove into him, pinning him to the groud and knocked his gun away, someone get them wrist straps okay

"freakin-"  
"stop that"

"if only my brother, sammy, were here, and .........cas" dean said as a Single Man Tear™ rolled down his cheek

the 1967 chevy impala laughed, which just came out as a bunch of honks  
"too bad I killLED THEM" saidD TH E MOTHERFUCKING CHEVY IMPALA FROM 1967, NOT 1966, NOT EVEN 1968, 1767 EXACTLY

Dean winner gave up, he decided it was time

juST AT THAT MOMENT SAM AND CASSIETL BURST INTO THE ROOM AND CAS USED ANGEL STUFF IF HE'S STILL AN ANGEL TO KNOCK THE 1967 CHEVY IMOGEN OFF OF DEAN!<

"fuck you" said same  
"woah hey you can't say that" said the impala  
"oh yeah you're right....uh.....heck you" sam said as he shot at the imapa;la 1967

~*dEANS POV I GUESS*~

"SMAMY ! AND.........cas? i THOUGH YOU WERE BOTH DEAD?" DEAN YELLED

cas placed his hand on deans arm (where the handprint is!!) and stared at him, dean looked at his arm and slowly raised his head to look into castiels clear blue eyes, they stared for a really long time, it was intense aF

at this point the show writers highfived for successly baiting peop;e

"uh" said sam as he contined to shoot at the 1967 chevy impala

Deanny cleared his trout and went to get his food

Sam shrugged and wrapped the 1967 yvehc impala up in his hair and dabbed as he carried her far away

~*19-67 CHEVU IMPKALA POV :DDDD*~

"ah shit" said the impala

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hang around for another installment of 'The Chevy Impala Who Wanted Revenge', should be due sometime in the next year lmao yeah


End file.
